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How to Deal With Stonewalling in a Marriage

Are you facing relationship difficulties? Issues like infidelity, verbal abuse, or violence can destroy your marriage, but stonewalling is one common issue that often shows up before these deep problems come to light.

Stonewalling in a marriage can come at any stage of the relationship and can be a painful obstacle to overcome. However, we can help you learn how to deal with a spouse who refuses to communicate and how to move past it.

Want to learn more? Take a look at our quick guide to stonewalling and how to handle it.

Focus on Yourself

When it comes to dealing with stonewalling in a marriage, the best place to start is with yourself. You need to take a step back and assess your feelings, emotions, attitude, behavior, and communication within the relationship. If you can recognize what’s happening and how it’s affecting you, you can begin to address the problem.

Try to find a way to express your concerns calmly without blaming or withdrawing completely. Set aside a time to calmly discuss how both of you are feeling and encourage your partner to do the same. 

Get Counseling Services

When faced with stonewalling in a marriage, it is important to take action right away rather than allowing the behavior to continue or grow worse. One of the best ways to do this is to get couples counseling. A trained therapist can help the couple learn how to communicate in marriage more effectively and resolve conflict.

In counseling, couples can create a safe, non-judgmental, and supportive space where they can talk openly and freely. The therapist can also guide couples in healthy risk-taking and teach them how to let go of unproductive conflict. 

Requesting a Break

When dealing with stonewalling in a marriage, it is important to confront the issue head-on and ask for a break. If your spouse is not willing to listen or communicate, ask them to take a timeout. This can be a few minutes, an hour, or a day.

During the timeout, try to stay away from talking about marital issues, but communicate that you need some space to think and take some personal time. Avoid using physical contact or tone of voice to vie for attention. It is important to acknowledge the need for a break, and if the stonewaller does not respond positively, be prepared to leave the furniture for a while. 

Don’t Disengage Completely

To effectively deal with stonewalling in a marriage, it is important to not entirely disengage from the situation. Disengaging could leave resentment between partners and make communicating in the future more difficult. Instead, try to remain patient and be mindful of the other person’s feelings.

Take a step back and allow yourself to clear your head if necessary. By allowing yourself time to calmly analyze the situation, you can better understand the reasons behind the stonewalling and ultimately find a solution to the conflict. 

Confront Stonewalling to Avoid Worse Marital Issues

Stonewalling is a challenge, but it can be addressed with understanding and communication. To build a safe and healthy marriage, use active listening and open communication to tackle it. 

The most common reason for marital issues is a lack of communication in marriage. Address it to improve the quality of your relationship.

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